Steamboat Willie
by starlight.moon.princess
Summary: In which Dean is forced to hunt a demonic version of Mickey Mouse on its home ground. He isn't too pleased - Bobby and Sam, on the other hand, are just amused.


"Excuse me, mister?"

Dean looked down at the little child. She must have been about five years old, and was looking up at him with impossibly wide eyes.

"Yeah?" he asked, forcing a wide smile across his face.

"Could you please tell me where I can find Cinderella?"

_Fucking Disney_

* * *

It was all Bobby's fault. That was Dean's story, and he was sticking with it. If the older hunter hadn't called on him and Sam, there was no way he'd be standing in the middle of Disneyland or Walt Disney World or whatever else it was called.

He and Sam, they'd been having a pretty good run of things. There hadn't been any near death incidents in a week when Bobby had decided that he needed to call in the cavalry and that they were it.

He still didn't understand why he couldn't have sent another hunter. Dean was certain that there had to be someone who would have jumped at the chance of going to Florida, even if it was in the middle of a theme park fiddle with jumpy and kids and thousands of potential targets.

But Sam had agreed with Bobby, and here they were in the middle of the freaking land of talking animals, directing lost children to princesses while they waited for the demon to show up. Well, Sam was – Dean? Dean was still going over how his luck had changed so horrifically.

* * *

"You have _got_ to be joking," he groaned over the phone. He and Sam were in a seedy bed and breakfast in the middle of Nowhere, Georgia. They had been packing up their stuff and getting ready to return to the salvage yard for a couple of days of down time – which, of course, had been when Bobby had decided to call them with the most terrifying job Dean had ever heard of. "_Please_ tell me you're joking, Bobby, and that this is just your way for getting back at me over what happened the-"

"I don't want to remember it, you idjit," the other man interrupted. "The less I remember, the less cause I have to find you and kill you, boy."

"So you're joking, right?"

"Did I say I was?"

He threw his brother a desperate look, hoping that Sam would have some way for the two of them to get out of this job. When he realised that there was no help forthcoming, he returned to trying to convince Bobby about how the job wasn't their thing.

"You can find someone else, Bobby. Someone who doesn't actually mind being in that _place_. Besides, I'm sure there are a few demons somewhere for Sam and I to hunt instead of us wasting our time in-"

"Consider in my revenge, you big baby," Bobby interrupted. "Now give the phone to Sam so that I can give you two the details without having to you listen to you whine at me."

Dean handed the phone over to his brother, deflating in defeat. He could hope that Sam would be just as opposed to the trip as he was, but somehow he doubted it. Sam would probably be _thrilled_, the idiot.

"So, what're we hunting?" he asked when he noticed Sam putting the phone down. "Crazed chipmunks? A demonic mouse?"

"Close," his brother replied, mischief dancing in his eyes. It felt good to see some sort of life in his brother once again – good enough that he was going to ignore the fact that the phrase 'mischief dancing in his eyes' had just crossed his mind. Seeing Sammy without his soul again was a rather good excuse for him having a chick moment.

"What do you mean close?" he asked. There was a foreboding feeling growing in the pit of his stomach – he had a feeling that whatever Sam was going to tell was going to make him even _less_ happy about this entire trip than he already was.

"Well, it's more of a rat than a mouse, really. It's called the tesso, or the Iron Rat – it's a yōkai from Japanese mythology. Likes to eat books, manuscripts, that sort of thing – though it has no issues eating humans too, which is where we get called in."

"Brilliant," he muttered, raising a hand to his temples. He could already feel the beginnings of a horrible headache start to settle in. "So we're _literally _hunting Mickey Mouse gone bad. This just gets better every time I learn more about the plan. _Why _exactly is it in Disneyland, of all places?" he asked. It wasn't so much the demonic Disney character he minded, really – just the place it had decided to spend its time in. If the creature enjoyed eating books so much, it could have at least had the decency to occupy a library or something.

"Actually, we're going to Walt Disney World, not Disneyland. They're separate-"

"I don't actually care, Sammy. It's still a bunch of creepy talking animals. Just answer the question."

"No idea," Sam replied promptly. "It's an odd place for a tesso to be really – you're more likely to find them in places with a number of libraries, old book shops, places where they can find their favourite food. But Bobby said there were reports of a couple of people who went missing immediately after leaving the park, and increased rodent activity in the area. Since the tesso is one of the few known demons who can – and will – control rats, he suspects that we've got one at the park."

"Brilliant," Dean repeated, his voice slightly hollow. "And I thought the Apocalypse was bad."

"Stop being dramatic, Dean. Drama queen is not a look that suits you."

"I am _not _being dramatic," he replied, shooting Sam a glare. "Do you have any idea just how many people there are going to be in that place? The amount of _kids_? This is going to possibly be the least amount of fun I have ever had in my life."

"Whatever, Dean," Sam said, shaking his head in defeat at his antics. "Shall we leave now?"

Dean looked at him incredulously. "Are you _insane_? If we're going to be stuck at Disneyland, we need to be prepared – we need to find a car, for one. I'm not bringing the Impala to that place. Also, how exactly are we going to be observing everyone without being noticed? I doubt the Feds stop by Cinderella's castle often."

"Well, Bobby thinks it's probably one of the employees. A visitor spending too much time there might have been noticed, while someone who's supposed to be there wouldn't be. Plus, people would trust the employees that much more easily. He said he knows someone who works there who can get us temporary jobs so that we can monitor everyone better."

"Undercover as _Disney_- You know what? I'm just not going to think about it. It's probably better for my sanity that way, anyway. I'm just-" he gestured to the door to the miniscule balcony that came with the room, moving towards it. He really, really needed some fresh air right about now so that he wouldn't do something embarrassing, like faint. The day had been difficult enough – there was just no sense in making it worse.

* * *

So there they were, in the middle of fucking _Disney_.

"Hey mister?"

Sometimes, Dean hated his life.

* * *

**an: this takes place somewhere between 'like a virgin' and 'unforgiven' in season 6. cas is busy doing important things in heaven when this happens, so the boys are left to themselves.  
dean doesn't appreciate it. at all. as fas as he's concerned, they should have waited for cas so he could find and kill the demon and reduce time spent in walt disney world to a minimum. **

**the tesso exists, and actually is a yōkai - but japanese mythology states that there was only one tesso, and it ate the manuscripts and books as a form of revenge. there is no mention of eating humans whatsoever. i'm adjusted it a bit so that it can fit spn standards.**

**i hope you guys liked it! please don't forget to drop a review on your way out - this is my first time properly writing in the spn fandom, and i'd really love to know how i managed it!**


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